The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
