um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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