she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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