dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
