scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
