But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
