hotel room ftw
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
