i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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