Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
