i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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