Please don't use social media to get back at me.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
