Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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