I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just had sex on a roof
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
