He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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