why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
