dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You need Xanax blowdarts
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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