He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
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