i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
