want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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