hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
