Cold hands, warm shart.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
