Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
There's always time for handjobs
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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