Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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