I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
