So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
