Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
