What a fucking waste of an outfit
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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