Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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