I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
