Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
The beer is more important than you right now.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
