They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
