I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
