im drinking this country out of the recession.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
