just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
