I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
