My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
