the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
