If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
you never un-have a 4some
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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