Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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