no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
