Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
love makes seman taste better
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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