pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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