Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
