3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
