if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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