4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
