I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
We need to rekindle our bromance
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
