i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
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