Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
