am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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