I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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