I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
