the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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