Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
