somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
